Happy Birthday Madonna!

Madonna Nation: Vol. 3

So here it is, my all-time favorite Madonna video. It's really a no brainer. It was directed by my good friend Mary Lambert. We're tight.

Like A Prayer. Directed by Mary Lambert (1989)

Madonna Nation: Vol. 2

Before revealing my all-time favorite Madonna music video, here are numbers three and four on my list. Once again, Jean-Baptiste Mondino, who has only directed seven of Madonna's videos, pops up again on the list, twice.

Human Nature. Directed by Jean-Baptiste Mondino (1994)


Justify My Love. Directed by Jean-Baptiste Mondino (1990)

Madonna Nation: Vol. 1

This Thursday, Madonna turns 49! To celebrate, and because I love countdowns, I'm posting my five favorite Madonna music videos. Having made over 50 videos, selecting five -- just the five -- was a nearly impossible task.

I'm aware that some of these choices are controversial. Aric loathes "Don't Tell Me," saying it's another "walking" video, but I think it has some of the most beautiful scenery and choreography of anything she's ever done, and the bass line corresponding with the direction is brilliance. As for "Bad Girl," I'm aware that it is the stereotypical and perennial favorite among die-hard fans, like myself, because it is her most autobiographical video. Not to mention the fact that it features a dancing Christopher Walken, long before -- eight years to be exact -- he boogied down for Fatboy Slim.

Don't Tell Me. Directed by Jean-Baptiste Mondino (2001)


Bad Girl. Directed by David Fincher (1993)

Every Heartbeat Belongs To You

Remember "show me love" Robyn? She's got a great new single -- "With Every Heartbeat" -- and video, which I think was directed by Gumby.

Download an MP3 of it here.



This song is screaming for some killer remixes.

Today Is So Yesterday

When I was in high school I was a huge fan of the Today show. I loved waking up each morning and getting that day's top news stories from Matt, Katie and Ann. On my birthday, I’d watch the program from start to finish, as Katie and I celebrated our special day together. But a few years ago, I stopped watching the Today show. It had nothing to do with the departure of Katie, but instead, of the departure of actual news.

Earlier this week, I woke up at 6 a.m. to go stand in line to get my passport -- only to be turned away and told to come back 2 days before my flight. (When I arrived home, I found an e-mail saying my passport had been processed and I’d receive it the following day. The two events were not related.) But since I was already up, I turned on Today and thought I’d give it another chance. Surely, I presumed, at least the first hour would be have some hard news.

I was wrong. At 7:10 Matt was interviewing John McCain, who answered a few questions about his sinking ship of a campaign, but mainly spoke about his new book. I changed the channel and didn’t return until 7:30, when Matt was conducting another “exclusive” interview. No, he wasn’t having a tête-à-tête with Desmond Tutu or former Secretary of State Madeline Albright, but was talking with the boy who caught Hank Aaron’s record-breaking homerun baseball.

Suddenly, I remembered why I turned my back on the show years ago. I was reminded of previous hard-hitting news stories about men who cry, the best way to remove bunions and the differences between various cuts of meat.

So what happened to Today? A few years ago, USA Today published a front-page story asking the same question; criticizing the show's lack of hard news. You know things are bad when USA Today is commenting on your lack of credibility. In my opinion, the show went downhill long before Katie jumped ship, but when Al Roker moved from weather reader to "journalist."

In September, Today is adding another hour of programming; expanding the show to 4 hours each day. With even more time to fill, be sure to look for groundbreaking exposes on blue vs. black ink, the loudest birds, and how to get your wainscoting looking its brightest.

Didn't I already see this story on the cover of TIME?

Masterpiece Theater: Vol. 2

I know what you’re thinking: How could the writers of “Undressed” top the gay jock storyline. Well, believe it or not, they actually did. Unlike the previous installment, which wasted the first few minutes establishing characters and plot, this episode cuts right to the sex -- and stays there. It isn’t until 5 minutes into it that the writers realize they need a storyline. I won’t tell you what it is, but believe me, you won’t see it coming. Seriously, you won’t. There is no foreshadowing indicating the future of the story. One of the boys could have ripped off his face and revealed himself to be Pia Zadora and it would have made just as much sense.

Part 1


So will Barry the Fairy win the heart of his Tinkerbell? And how the hell are these former high school students accidentally running into each other at the same hostel in Europe?

Part 2


OK, so the blond guy is hot. And what happened to Barry’s contacts? He’s such a pessimist. Just because his glasses are smashed into two separate pieces does not mean they are broken – by far my favorite part of the episode.

Props to the video editor who cut the girl out whenever she had something important to say.

No Comment

This is ridiculous, seriously.

Two (Gorgeous) Face

Praise the lord! August recess is here. It's been a long journey getting here, and this past week has been unbearable. Don't let this pretty face fool you, with last-minute edits, swapping out photos, computer crashes, internet crashes, a flood of superfluous comas and other hyperbolic punctuation, this high-powered low-level editor almost cracked, and nearly took all of his co-workers with him.

Let’s Keep Your BM on the DL

Someone above my pay grade at work, who is everyone I work with, has a terrible habit of conducting conversations in the most inappropriate of places; the bathroom. Now while I love to gab as much as the next girl, the porcelain lined walls of the poo depository is not the place. It’s one thing to strike up a conversation at the urinals – with dividers, of course – but it’s quite another to actually talk to someone while you’re sitting down revisiting lunch.

I’ve been trapped in this scenario a few times and never know what to do. I could easily leave. He can’t see me. But then I’d miss whatever important work he’s talking about. “We’re having an ad -- KABLAMO -- problem on page 9,” he muddles under a cataclysmic symphony of bowel release.

As the sounds ricochet off the bathroom walls, somehow climbing an octave higher with every new deposit, I start to sing “Holiday” in my head and brace myself for the overpowering smell that will soon be embedded in my nostrils, and my memory.

Just Jack

To Bill Bradsky, I mean, Jack McFarland. You were Buddy Cole, Paul Lynde and Cher all rolled up into one juicy casserole, with a dash of Liza for extra spice.