As much as I like to write, I don’t like putting words in other people’s mouths. I’d much rather put something other than my thoughts in those delicious, watery holes. But what I’m talking about are On-Demand compliments – patent pending – which I am no longer responding to.
An On-Demand compliment is when a person makes a negative comment about himself for the sole purpose of soliciting a positive comment from someone else. For example, if I wanted my friends to say something nice about my fantastic body, I would tell them I thought I was fat – and just like ordering up the Sopranos on my Comcast On-Demand – they would automatically answer: “That’s ridiculous. You are anything but fat.”
Over the years I’ve developed an acute ear for such set ups. The girl who wishes the size 4 dress was made in her size, only to hear me respond what a knock-out body she already has. The boy who claims no one wants to date him because he’s too ugly, only to hear me tell him how adorable he is. The wife who throws a dinner party and apologizes for only making three desserts. You get the point.
In fact, I was recently discussing On-Demand compliments with my friend; which caused me to blog about this. Immediately, he confessed to using them almost daily. Instead of telling him how ridiculous he was, I agreed with him, and faster than a politician, he reversed his previous admission and said I was ridiculous; that he was not that pathetic. Apparently, this actor hadn’t learned the lines he wanted to hear.
Now I’m not complaining about complaining. Lord knows I do my share – case in point – but there is a difference between getting something off your chest and purposely laying a trap for someone to boost your self-esteem. And while everyone needs to hear a compliment every now and then, overdosing on On-Demand compliments is a serious problem that requires help. Just don’t ask me for any.
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