I’ve been watching the Discovery Channel’s fascinating series “Planet Earth” and have come to the logical conclusion that God does drugs. Whenever I watch this program my neighbors must think I’m having mind-blowing sex because every two minutes I’m shouting, “Oh wow!” And while my mind is being blown, sadly, it’s the only thing.
But some of these creatures could only have been created after a hit of blow or some fine chronic. I’m not saying God is baked 24/7 -- remember, he takes Sundays off -- but he does have a very important job. Sure, he could easily relieve some stress with sex, especially with all those slutty angels just throwing themselves at him, but he’s not a player. That’s more his son’s department.
(Now I’m not one to gossip, but everyone knows Jesus’ turning water into wine recipe is always laced with ruffies, and every angel he nails always wakes up with her halo dangling from her breast, like a ring toss at a carnival.)
I’m not sure what God’s drug of choice is. Of course one would think the immediate choice would be angel dust, but as he's already proven, he’s not that predictable.
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